Neil Hawley

Born on 1960-10-20

Departed on 2010-01-31

Resided in Fredericksburg, VA

Retired Navy Cmdr. Neil T. Hawley, 49, of Fredericksburg died peacefully Sunday, January 31, 2010, surrounded by his family and friends.

Neil was survived by his wife, Marie; sons, Alexander, Garrett and Hunter, all of the home; parents, Neil and Patricia Hawley; sisters, Kim Stillitano and husband, Anthony and Karen Vanderwiel and husband Paul; all of Pennsylvania; mother-in-law, Virginia Finochetti; brother-in-law, John Finochetti, and sisters-in-law, Aline Finn, Carole Foley and husband Pat, Jean Clark and husband Dave, all of Boston, MA; proud uncle of numerous nieces and nephews who always admired Uncle Neil, the Navy pilot.

Neil was born in Erie, Pennsylvania. After graduating, from Fairview, Pennsylvania high school, Neil received his mechanical engineering degree from The Pennsylvania State University in 1983. Upon graduation, he was commissioned in the Navy and received his designation as a Naval Aviator. Neil was proud to have flown the P-3 Orion during his more than twenty years of service with the Navy, retiring with the rank of Commander. At the time of his illness Neil was a pilot with United Airlines, having enjoyed flying to destinations around the world. Flying for Neil had been a dream since childhood, one that he lived for all his adult life. Neil was a devote catholic and parishioner of St. Jude Catholic Church.

Neil was a devoted husband, father, son, brother, uncle and friend to many. He consistently placed his family and friends first, even during his 4-1/2 year ferocious battle with cancer. His strength and courage during this arduous time were heroic and those who knew him never forget the example he set in perseverance. He will be greatly missed.

We would like to give special thanks to all of the family and friends that have supported and loved us throughout all the ups and downs of this journey.

A Mass of celebration will be held at 1 p.m. Thursday, February 4 at St. Mary Catholic Church . Burial will be at a later date in Arlington National Cemetery.

The family will receive friends from 6-9 p.m. Wednesday, February 3 at Covenant Funeral Service, Fredericksburg with a prayer service at 8:30 p.m.

In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to Hawley Children College Fund c/o Virginia Partners Bank 410 William St., Fredericksburg, VA 22401.

75 thoughts on Neil Hawley

  1. Tracey Chestnut on said:

    Dear Marie, Alex, Garrett, Hunter and family:

    You have our deepest sympathy and prayers for the loss of Neil. He was a very special man and we admired him greatly. He was a wonderful friend who always made us laugh. We will miss him very much. Our thoughts are with you.

    Tracey, Kelsey, Karri and Austin Chestnut

  2. Lori Ronquest on said:

    Dear Marie and family,
    I can’t express how sorry we are for your loss of Neil. He was a wonderful man and we are so thankful to have known him. Our prayers are with you and your family. He is now in peace and will always be with you and your boys. God be with you all.
    Brian, Lori, Morgan, Hunter Ronquest

  3. Maria Couture on said:

    Dear Mrs. Hawley, Alex, Garrett, and Hunter,
    I know that your father/husband will be with us forever while he is in Heaven. And I can tell he loved you all very much.
    With sympathy, -Maria Couture

  4. Liz Couture on said:

    Dear Marie and Boys,
    It has been an honor to know Neil. He always made me smile.
    With prayers and warm memories,
    -Liz

  5. Kelli Tarasca on said:

    Dear Marie,Garrett,Alex,Hunter and all of the Hawley Family:

    We just want to say how sorry we are for your loss. Neil was such an incredible person, husband and father. He was so strong in his long and hard battle. We just want you and your family to know that our thoughts and prayers are with you especially now and forever. God bless all of you.
    Our Deepest Sympathy,
    Jim, Kelli, Michael and Alexa Tarasca

  6. Camille McAllister on said:

    Dear Marie, Alex, Garrett, and Hunter,

    We were deeply saddened to hear of your loss. Neil was a great friend, and we will treasure our memories of him always. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. We love each of you so very much.

    Camille, John, Jacob and Caleb McAllister

  7. Tracy Garrett Stefurak on said:

    Am so sorry to hear of Neil’s passing my thoughts and prayers go out to the family in this time of sorrow. I knew Neil in high school and have several fond memories of him that I will hold dear to my heart.
    He played a vital part in the beginning of my relationship with my husband as well as his friend Michael Stefurak.
    May god give you the strength and courage that you all need in the coming days.
    Tracy Garrett Stefurak
    Michael P Stefurak

  8. Lisa Hernandez on said:

    Dear Marie and Boys,
    Our thoughts and prayers are with you all during this difficult time. Alfonso and I will never forget the fun times we had with Neil during all of our wedding days. He was a fun person to be with and we are sorry for your loss.
    Love Lisa,Alfonso and family

  9. Ann Walker on said:

    Neil’s courage and grace was an inspiration.

  10. Amy Marasco House on said:

    Dear Hawley Family,
    I was saddened to hear of Neil’s passing. My memories of him are filled with warmth and humor, as I’m sure, are many of yours. May God give you the strength to carry on, Knowing that Neil is at peace. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

  11. Tom Lane on said:

    I am very sorry for the loss of Neil. I remember many times growing up in Walnut Heights Neil and I would talk of becoming pilots. I thank him for not only serving our country but the aviation community as well.

  12. Tim and Debra Wander on said:

    Dear Marie and Family,
    Our caring thoughts, prayers and deepest sympathy are with you and your family.

  13. Kathy Monticue on said:

    I am very sorry for your loss & will keep your family in my prayers.

  14. The Rivellese Family on said:

    That is a beautiful and fitting obituary for Neil. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

  15. Ron Jankowski on said:

    Dear Hawley Family,
    My thoughts and prayers are with you at this very difficult time. I will always treasure the great times shared with Neil at FHS and beyond. Rest in peace my friend.

  16. Scott Overly on said:

    I am sorry for your loss and you have my deepest sympathy .

  17. Donna Kettle on said:

    Marie,

    I am so sorry to hear of Neil’s passing. My toughts and prayers are with you and the boys.

    Donna Kettle

  18. David and Lisa Durham on said:

    Neil was a fabulous husband, father and neighbor. His optimism and wit in the face of his battle with cancer was always a sight to behold. Fair winds and following seas, shipmate.

  19. Karin Lowe Beals on said:

    Marie – I am so sorry to hear about Neils passing. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Wishing you peace.

    Karin

  20. Christopher G. Acker on said:

    The salutes and condolences from friends of 30 – 40 years ago illustrate the impact Neil had on many lives through the years. I remember fondly growing up with him as a youth in Fairview and the too few visits we shared afterward; his dry wit, pride as a naval aviator, and his strong will have made it a privilege for me to be considered a friend.

    Rest peacefully, my old friend. Until we meet again.

  21. Mary Brady on said:

    My Heart goes out to my friend Kim and her Family .God Bless the family and all their friends !

  22. Cindy & Richard Rakes on said:

    Dear Marie, Alex, Garret, Hunter and extended family,

    My heart aches for you, as you experience such a great loss. I remember the many times we would run into Neil at basketball games or soccer,and I would ask how he was doing. Neil always politely returned the questions in the form of “How is Mattie doing?”, he would give words of encouragement and wished us success in her recovery, never shining the light on himself. Neil was blessed to have such a wonderful wife Marie and children who loved him so much—always remember those memories and time will heal your aching hearts.

    Happiness is a journey, not a destination.

    So work like you don’t need the money,

    Love like you have never been hurt,

    Dance like no one’s watching,

    Sing like nobody’s listening,

    Live like it’s Heaven on Earth.”

    - Father Alfred D’Souza

  23. Christine Glynn Freeman on said:

    Dear Marie and family,

    Paul and I are so sorry to hear about Neil’s passing. Our thoughts and prayers go out to you, the boys and the entire Finochetti and Hawley Family. With Love, Christine

  24. Pam Frederick on said:

    I was deeply saddened to hear about Neil’s death. I know how difficult this must be for you. You have my deepest sympathy. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

  25. Mark Urban on said:

    Dear Kim and Hawley family, I am very sorry to hear of Neil’s passing and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

  26. Bernice McDonald on said:

    Kim & family I was deeply saddened to hear of Neil’s passing. You have been in my thoughts & prayers. May God be with you.

  27. Anita Martin on said:

    To the entire Hawley family – my heart is breaking for you all in your time of loss. Please accept my deepest, heartfelt sympathy and prayers. I will always remember the many happy days we all spent playing as kids in the backyard of W. 42nd Street in Erie.

  28. Christina on said:

    We appreciate the service Neil gave to his country. His bravery is well noted through all he faced in his life. Our heartfelt condolences are extended to his family.

  29. The Walenchok Family on said:

    We feel so blessed to have been able to witness such love and strength among a family. We are so very sorry for your loss.

  30. Terri Schantz on said:

    Marie, I was so upset when I went to Dr. Maurer’s office on Monday and the girls told me about Neil. I am really glad I was able to see Neil one more time, I knew he wasn’t doing well and I prayed for you guys every night. He will always be a part of my cancer journey. I will miss him, he was my chemo buddy!
    Take care!
    Terri Schantz

  31. Jeanne Bonifazi on said:

    Kim and family so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  32. Mary Jane and Bob Bohlen on said:

    Dear Marie, Alex, Garrett, and Hunter,
    Our prayers are with you at this time of sadness. Please be assured of continued prayers for Neil and all the Hawleys. Jan. 31 is the birthday of St Louis de Montfort who had great devotion to the Blessed Mother. I will ask him to watch over Neil.
    God bless you all.
    Mary Jane Bohlen

  33. Chris Loringer on said:

    Neil, The world is a better place because you were part of it. You will be missed.

  34. Natalie Jessup Murphy on said:

    I have such fond memories of Neil from growing up in the same neighborhood and being great friends with his sister, Kim. It breaks my heart that he is gone but I am so happy that he accomplished all the things that he wanted so much in life. He touched me life and he will be missed!

  35. Natalie Jessup Murphy on said:

    I have such fond memories of Neil from growing up in the same neighborhood and being great friends with his sister, Kim. It breaks my heart that he is gone but I am so happy that he accomplished all the things that he wanted so much in life. He touched me life and he will be missed!

  36. Phil Palmer on said:

    I am very sorry to learn about Neil’s passing. Kim used to tell me about Neil and his condition several years back and I remember often inquiring Kim as to how he was doing at the time. Please accept my sympathies and God Bless.

  37. Jerry and Barbara Kloecker, and family on said:

    Dear Marie, Alexander, Garrett and Hunter,

    You have our deepest sympathy and prayers. Neil was a fine father and husband, and had a great sense of humor. It was a privilege to know him. His determination and perseverance in the past few years is truly an inspiration to us. Rest in peace, Neil.

  38. United Airlines ALPA Council 11 on said:

    In sympathy and friendship to all of Neil’s family. From the officers and members of United Airlines Air Line Pilots Association, Council 11, Washington, D.C.

  39. Joe and Bekie Valenzuela on said:

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
    VP-44, USN

  40. David Adams on said:

    Dear Hawley Family.
    My sincere condolences for your loss. I knew Neil in high school and have many great memories of time spent together. He was always able to cheer people up with his sense of humor and quick wit. He will be greatly missed. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

  41. Katy Nies on said:

    Marie, Alex, Garrett, Hunter, Uncle Neil, Aunt Pat, Kim, and Karen,

    Please know that all of you are in my thoughts and prayers at this time of terrible loss.
    Neil was such a wonderful person and a beloved cousin. I will never forget him teasing Maura and I as kids…we were not allowed to leave the family parties without giving him that kiss on the cheek.
    My heart goes out to all of you at this time.
    Neil will truly be missed but never forgotten.

  42. Kuper on said:

    Dear Marie, Alex. Garrett and Hunter,
    We were deeply saddened to learn of Neil’s passing. Our thoughts, prayers and love are with you.
    Harry and Lilla Kuper

  43. Kathy & Jim Wehan on said:

    Our hearts were broken when we heard that Neil lost his courageous battle. He lived his dream to be a Navy pilot and eventually a commercial pilot and always had great stories to tell of his experiences. Neil will always be in our hearts and never forgotten.
    With love,
    Aunt Kathy and Uncle Jim

  44. Lisa Jones on said:

    Marie and children,

    I am sorry to hear of Neil’s passing. You are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you and your family.

  45. Tammy Jones on said:

    Marie and Family,
    We were so saddened to hear of Neil’s passing and want you know our heartfelt thoughts and prayers are with all of you as this time of deep loss. What a courageous and honorable battle Neil fought and what an incredible support and anchor you have been for all Marie. Your entire family is amazing. May the wonderful memories you’ve acquired over the years abundantly fill your hearts forever.
    With love,
    Jeff, Tammy, Cameron, and Kelsey Jones

  46. Gary Fletcher on said:

    Condolences to your family in this time of grief.

    Fair winds and following seas Neil.

    Gary Fletcher
    Former Naval Aviator/ Current UAL Pilot

  47. Dave Mitchell on said:

    Darcey and I hold your family in our thoughts and prayers.

    The battle that Neil fought speaks directly to the kind of person he was and is an example for all.

    One of the great things in our Navy is the opportunity to share our lives with each other, a bond that is often stronger than any other. When I spoke with Neil at the decommissioning of VP-66 I was amazed at his spirit and drive under extreme adversity. The fact that he took the time to come share the event with his squadron mates says more then I could about his character.

    I will always remember with a great deal of pride that I had the privilege to fly and serve with Neil Hawley.

    Dave Mitchell

  48. Deborah McManus on said:

    Marie, Alex, Garrett, and Hunter,

    Whenever I think of Neil I will always remember such a wonderful man, proud of his sons and in love with his wife. He helped us out a great deal in our den activities – snow skiing, building boats, camping. He truly enjoyed being with his sons as much as possible.

    Strong and courageous don’t begin to describe him as he gave cancer an amazing fight, outlasting his illness for so long out of sheer will to be with his family. He is at peace now, knowing he loved and was loved deeply during this life time. God rest his soul.

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you Marie and your entire family.

    John, Deborah, Sean, Patrick, and Aidan McManus

  49. James Edwards on said:

    Hawley Family,
    You have our deepest sympathy for the loss of your loved one. We will keep you in our prayers.
    James Allen Edwards & Family

  50. Beth Johnson on said:

    Kim and family, you have my deepest sympathy on the loss of your brother, husband and son. You will all be in my prayers. Kim, I will always be here for you all you have to do is call, you have been a very good friend and I am glad you are a part of my life.

  51. Maura Vogt on said:

    Dear Marie,Alex,Garrett,Hunter, Uncle Neil,Aunt Pat, Kim,& Karen,

    “My heart and tears are with you all”. Neil will be greatly missed and never forgotten. Your proud cousin “Bird Legs”

  52. Cathy Brooks on said:

    Marie,

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please know that I’ve been thinking of you.

    Cathy Brooks

  53. Dr. Mel Wright on said:

    Dear Marie,
    I was saddened to hear of Neil’s passing. He was a good man and will be missed. I trust that you and your boys will find peace. I will be thinking of you. Mel

  54. Rita Dunston on said:

    Hi Marie:

    My prayers are with your family during this time. Remember II Corin. 12:9, And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness.
    God’s grace will enable you to make it during this time. He will be there to pick you, to heal your broken heart and to strengthen you in the days to come. Be encouraged

  55. bill jackson on said:

    To Marie, Kim, and Neil’s family:

    Neil was a great guy and always a positive memory for me. Forever, he made me laugh. From our days running cross country together at FHS in the 70′s and our juvenile Halloween pranks, to his memorable quotes. Once during a long run together on the roads in Fairview, PA he looked over at me and simply quipped "Hey Beej – Killer sheep in trees with bombs on your apricot farm, ok?" What could I say but ‘ok, man". Some people grace the world longer and some shorter but Neil did grace my world indeed. – Bill Jackson FHS Class ’80 and a Friend of Neil.

  56. Sandy Monroe on said:

    Marie,

    I am sorry to hear of Neil’s passing. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

  57. Michael Kloecker on said:

    To Marie and family:
    You are in my thoughts and prayers. I have many, many memories of attending Penn State with Neil. He was a constant source of support, humor, and optimism. How he battled cancer and yet maintained his positive attitude will forever be an inspiration to me. I take comfort in knowing that some lucky person now has a fantastic guardian angel!

  58. Michael Stefurak on said:

    I was a classmate of Neils at Fairview High School and also a shipmate as I spent 25 years in the Navy. Neil was a great guy and you have condolences.

  59. Hank and Anita Vitali on said:

    Dear Marie and family,

    There are no words to help console you and your boys during this most sorrowful time. Our hearts ache for you. I enjoyed speaking to Neil every time I attended for a squadron function at Willow Grove. He always took the time to talk to me and ask about our children. I wish you could have joined him but I know your sons were so young back then. Always a smile; his piercing blue eyes. A gracious good man. You and Neil have exhibited such dignity and grace during this journey. Please know your Navy family is here to support you in any way we can. We send our love and heartfelt condolences to you, Alex, Garrett, Hunter and the entire Hawley Family. We will always keep you in our hearts, thoughts and prayers.

    Respectively,
    Hank and Anita Vitali

  60. Marijayne Kruus on said:

    This past Sunday, two of my dearest friends exchanged roles in the circle of life. Neil, my Hero, became an Angel and my Angel, Marie, will now have to be the hero.

    “When pain is all around … I will lay me down.”

  61. Tami Goodstein on said:

    Marie -
    I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and your family. Lean on your friends for strength, and always remember how much you are cared about.

    Tami

  62. Eileen Hayes Balczun on said:

    Dear Marie and family,
    You have my deepest sympathy. What a terrible loss for you and the boys. He will never be forgotten. I remember when Neil was a child he was always such a smart, polite, and kind young man. My prayers are with and your family.
    Love,
    Eileen

  63. Evan Williams on said:

    Dear Hawley Family,
    I am sorry about your loss and I was floored when I heard it. I express my sympathy to you and the boys in this unfortunate time. My heart goes out to everyone in your family.

  64. Stephen Lambert on said:

    Marie,

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please know I am thinking of you.

    Stephen Lambert
    Arlington, MA

  65. George&Lois Franklin on said:

    Our condolences to the whole family of our best friends since 1963 when litle Neil was pulled around in a little red wagon with his foot in a cast.

  66. McNeil Family on said:

    Our deepest condolences for your loss. Your family will be in our thoughts and prayers.

  67. Donna Kobella on said:

    My dear cousins – the Hawley family,

    My deepest sympathy for the loss of your son/brother/husband/father Neil.

    I will never forget the first time I saw cousin Neil in his Navy uniform and how proud he was being in the service.

    Our prayers are with you during this difficult time.

    Love and peace to you all,
    Donna, Steve, Sara & Matthew

  68. Karen & Gary McMaugh on said:

    Marie and sons, Aunt Pat and Uncle Neil, Karen, Kim…

    How hard he fought to stay amoungst us, but now is at peace.

    You are all in our thoughts and prayers.. Stay strong for each other.

    Love
    Cousin
    Karen

  69. Denise and Matthew Tousley on said:

    Hawley Family,
    Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Neil fought long and was such a strong and couragous man. We are so saddened to hear of his passing. He is safe now with God and will be our angel watching over all of us. Reach out to God, he will keep you strong and guide you through this loss. Rest in peace Neil.
    Love you all
    Cousin
    Denise, Matt and Austin

  70. Linda Kirchner on said:

    Marie and Family

    We were so sorry to hear of your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

    Linda and John Kirchner

  71. Charmaine Mueller on said:

    Marie:
    We are praying for you and the boys. Neil was a fighter and gave
    his family four more precious years. We are so sorry for your loss.
    with love, Charmaine and Greg Mueller. Maddie, Drew, Carrie & Lizzie

  72. Lucinda Giertz on said:

    To Marie and your boys -

    I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I feel so lucky to have met Neil back in 767 transition school in 2003. I don’t have to tell you what a fun and funny guy he is yes, “is” because he will always be with us. Not much can make the training center bearable, but somehow, it wasn’t so bad with Neil there. He always spoke so highly and fondly of you and the kids that I feel as if I know you. Our thoughts and prayers go out to all of you. I just KNOW Neil is up there keeping an eye on everyone, laughing the whole time.

    Warmly,
    Lucinda, Andy and Michael Giertz

  73. Daren and Kari Magruder and Sons on said:

    Our Dear Friends Marie, Alex, Garrett, and Hunter,
    Our hearts will forever be linked together in love and laughter with all the wonderful memories of our families. Fate brought us together and made us much bettter people just by knowing Neil and sharing in his life with all of you. We will always, always remember. Please know how much we love you all and are praying for much peace, continued strength and love always. Daren, Kari, Mason, Dylan and Cameron Magruder XO

  74. William Carneval on said:

    My condolences to your family. I never met Neil but I do know Neil Sr. quite well. He is very proud of his son.

    Take care!

    Bill Carneval

  75. Dan Stouppe on said:

    Marie,

    So sorry to hear about Neil. I remember back in the ole days flying with Kelly Brothers, Gene Piciano and Neil out of Brunswick and Keflavik he made us all laugh. He was such a good guy. Every Wednesday we drove down to Bath and had dinner at an old grungy bar/restaurant because they had good burritos and Coors Light during Happy Hour. I also remember racing back to Kelly’s house, all three of us in separate cars just like three aircraft in formation. I long for those days with my good friends. Marie… Neil will be sorely missed by his family and his friends. Only the best to you and your family.

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